What “Fixer Upper” Taught Me About Broken Relationships

What fixer upper taught me about relationshipsWhat fixer upper taught me about relationships

If you’ve ever seen the show Fixer Upper with Chip and Joanna Gaines, I’m sure you’re a fan of seeing lost causes find second chances. I’ve always loved watching the process of restoring old homes into beautiful places again. Maybe it’s just my personality, or maybe it’s the love Chip and Joanna have for making a house a home that draws me in. Whatever the case, I can’t help but see a parallel in what feels like our lost-cause relationships.

Starting with the Foundation

At the beginning of each Fixer Upper episode, you’ll usually see Chip doing a walk around the foundation, addressing all that catches his attention. He’ll then make his way down to the basement or crawl space of the house to check the stability of it. He does this because it’s the first and most important step in restoring the rest of the home. What is it made out of? How sturdy is it? Are there cracks? Broken support beams? In other words, what is the condition of the foundation and what does it need to repair the strength again?

Much like the foundation of a house, a relationship is held together by the same thing. Think of the person you’re at odd with and think about the foundation. What held it together before it was broken and what is it going to take to repair it? These two questions are ones that need answered before you can move on to other areas. Will it take a humble conversation to fix it? True repentance or forgiveness? You may not know yet. Or you may just not know where to begin. Just like every Fixer Upper house, every Fixer Upper relationship will be unique. Some may need a little work that you both can do yourselves, while some may take a lot of effort with professional guidance. Whatever the case may be, Jesus promises that it can always be restored.

For with God nothing will be impossible. — Luke 1:37

Building the Layout

Once the foundation is stable and secure, Joanna gets to work by planning the layout of the house. She excitedly works along side of Chip with walls she wants knocked down or built in, floors she wants replaced, fixtures she wants put in place, and colors she wants to paint. With all this effort, do you see where I’m going with this? It’s neat, isn’t it.

Joanna has a vision and a perspective we never fully get to see until the end. But there’s something that keeps our attention with the process of watching it come together, right? We like seeing the walls come down with the eagerness of watching new ones being built in. We like seeing existing rooms get a new coat of paint and decorated with unique pieces. Whatever beautiful things Joanna has in mind, it seems like it’s always better than what we expected!

Much like her role as the visionary, Jesus holds the same place in our relationships. Sometimes the walls we have inside our broken relationships are full of hurt, pride, and unhealthy habits that Jesus simply wants to knock down. They’re outdated, ugly, and stand in the way of breathing new life into those spaces.

1. I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. — John 15:1-2

Think of those areas in your life. As you begin your effort, you might not be able to see what’s happening at first, and there might be a lot of ugly views that take a lot of work and hard conversations, but eventually, you’ll see the fruition of your efforts taking shape. Jesus desires to guide us in this. He longs to be right there with us, giving us new perspectives, new ways of thinking, and healing our wounds beyond measure. He’s got a supernatural way of helping us knock down our walls and build something amazing and beautiful, if we just ask him to help us.

7 If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. 8 By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples. — John 15:7-8

The Big Reveal

Most of us would say the main reason we like to watch home shows are for the “Big Reveal” and Fixer Upper never disappoints with this part in their show! They begin by bringing the couple outside and placing a giant photo of their old house in front of them. With a brief conversation of what the goals were for their fixer upper, Chip and Joanna roll the old pictured house away and their new one is revealed! Most always, the couple gasps in excitement and joy because they can’t believe it’s the same house. That moment is filled with thankfulness, hugs, and happy tears as the next fews scenes reveal the inside of the transformations and final looks.

When we finally get to a place of restoration in our relationships, we’ll get our own “Big Reveal” to look at. We’ll be able to see how God took what “was” and completely created what “is”. The same relationship will have a brand new beginning!

They gave it to the craftsmen and builders to buy hewn stone and timber for beams, and to floor the houses which the kings of Judah had destroyed. — 2 Chronicles 34:11

What I love about Fixer Upper is Chip and Joanna’s heart behind the show. They’re two Christ-following people who long to infuse homes with inspiration, new life and give a new meaning to the word “Home”. They are committed to work with honor, integrity, and most of all a conviction to exemplify Christ to each couple they work with.


The hope that we have is that Christ is already knocking at the doors of our broken relationships and asking if he can fix them up. It is in his nature to take what is old, outdated, and abandoned, and turn it into something that is beautiful! He may ask you to get your hands dirty. He may ask you to trust him along the way. But he will never give up and say it’s a lost cause. He will never break his commitment to be there every step of the way because we’re meant to be restored.

Will you reach out to that person to begin this beautiful process?

With His Grace,

15 questions to ask on your next date night

Take time to learn about each other's heart and perspective & ask these 15 questions before you go on your next date with your spouse.

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